It is Him!

Workload and assignments have started to set in to place. And CF activities are demanding more and more commitment from me...


I was stressed yesterday. When I look at the huge backdrop (6 pieces of sugar paper 3X2, can imagine how big it is?)... Blanked! I have totally no idea how should I design it to make it looks cool... I felt incompetent... *Speechless* At that point of time, I look at the flyers that I've drafted out... *Yuck* It looks horrible.. I can't draw at all.


Add on to the tiredness and anxiety that I had, my emotion had started to drop...



Coincidently, I viewed back some of my old emails...


My tears started to generate... I HATE that kinda feelings...



Was sending out the first week of June's CF worship list. I got a sms from one musician, saying I did not inform him by putting his name as the worship leader for the week. That was the bomb that broke all my very last defence.


... I felt my effort of arranging the worship list was not appreciated, I have spent so much of time in CF, yet, what did I get in return? I put my assignments aside and trying hard and scratching my head of thinking how could I make the best team for every week of the month. Yet, this monkey (sorry if you are reading this, i was pissed at that moment ok?) come to me at the wrong timing and showing me black face and all... (even though it was through the phone but that's the only word I could think of)


What a tragedy of myself...


Bitterness set in...


I collapse, emotionally...



Chatting with Kim through msn, my tears couldn't stop but dropping like rain... I msged Iggy, "Hey, I couldn't cope with my study and assignments... I have to step down asap, alright? Pls find someone to replace me soon..."


Iggy was calm, he answered me 'ok!'


I felt releaved... but sad at the same time... am I ready to put all my effort of bringing up the whole worship team to another new person? Is the worship team stable enough by its own? Yes, it's somehow Stable, I told Kim and myself.


... she continue to console and comfort me, hoping that I would carry on with the task that God has given me...

... I look back to the team when I first took up the post, they are very much on track now... I know it's time to let go. Someone has to take over, as I have only three months left in the college...


The Lord has been faithful to me. He has granted me so many things that I wanted to do.

... ask in MY name, and you shall receive...



Yeah, He is always there catching me when I fall, pushing me when I lay back, pulling me when I am not able to move on... Always there...


The pressured that I had, was accumulated.

It was not the phone call and sms that upsets me; but also the misunderstanding between me and Iggy, the flashed back of some old memories, the anxiety of not knowing what and how to do with the flyer and backdrop design, the overflow of information lecturers have input in my brain and the exhausted mind and physical body.


Iggy called me, talk to me patiently and prayed for me... I believe that were more prayers than I could imagine when my emotion was in the valley. Soon, I feel myself feeling better. Then, I recovered.. fully from the bitterness and frustration...


...


Today, (the next day after y'day.. you should understand it right?) it was a wonderful.

It was fruitful! To me, at least!


Had early class from 8-10am. I got home at 10.30am to do my flyer design... it was not as difficult as I expected. Idea was given, materials were found and I done the flyer and poster design in about an hours time! It was not me! I could not do it I know! God was the one leading me and helping me! The lack of prayer and quiet time, I had lost my focus to draw strength and wisdom from Him... the Mighty One.

Later on, went back to college for 2-6pm classes.

The design of poster and flyer were showed to the lecturer, she likes it! Praise God! All I need is to add in a little bit more of information and edit a little bit here and there.. that's all! Went to Carrefour with Vineey to get some of the stuff we needed for the coming Small Business Fair, it was fun!


Also, we went over to the Cendol van where we are getting the supplies from for our stall. We shared one small bowl of the Cendol, sweet and chilling!!!




If I were to continue soak in the bitterness and stress that I had last night, I would never got to enjoy my day!

It is Him that does the Miracles.
It is His grace that granted me blessings and favour...


It is all about Him!!!!!!


Praise Him!!!


Praise Him!


Praise Him forever!!!!!!!!